Time for Change
Time for Change
2 Corinthians 5:17 “This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!”
There are moments in all our lives when we realize that how we’ve been living, the way we’ve been reacting, or simply our way of thinking isn’t working anymore. Maybe it is causing too much stress, maybe it is hurting ourselves or others, or maybe it simply isn’t who or how we want to be anymore.
In those moments, we realize that what we need is a change. Easy enough… we just decide, change… and promptly fall back to our old habit minutes later. Let’s be honest, change is never easy.
So how do we start?
Forming a new pattern of behavior or cultivating a new habit is a struggle for most of us. Rarely does change happen overnight. In fact, according to studies, on average, it takes over 2 months before a new behavior becomes automatic — 66 days to be exact. Of course, the actual time it takes for a new habit to form can vary widely depending on the behavior, the person, and the circumstances. So if you’re busy beating yourself up because you can’t seem to change something that you want to, then, my friend, you’re in good company. Take a deep breath, relax, you’ve got this.
Here’s how to start change in a way that works:
- Become conscious of the thing that needs to change. It doesn’t matter if it’s a complex thing or a simple thing. It could be biting finger nails, lying, complaining, negative thinking, cursing, laziness, who you hang around, how you spend your money and so on… The first step is to, as clearly as you can, articulate to yourself what needs to change. Be honest with yourself, it may sting, but the clearer you are, the easier the next steps are and the greater the feeling of success when you see results.
- Strategize your success. Let’s take lying, for example – perhaps you lie to protect yourself and it’s the first thing that slips out because you’re afraid to tell the truth. It’s important to catch yourself in the act. Become mentally aware when you are doing the thing you want to change and then use your strategy to help. For instance – stop yourself in the lie, apologize, and be honest, tell the person you are afraid to get in trouble, hurt them, or whatever is true and then solidify that change in behavior by telling the truth. As you do this, you will not only hold yourself accountable, but you will also develop a new habit. In this case, the habit of honesty.
- Develop new coping mechanisms. Whatever your struggle is, part of strategizing your success is identifying your old coping mechanisms and developing new ones. Maybe your struggle is your temper and you cope by lashing out. If you do then no matter how silly it seems, you need to pick a new coping mechanism that is healthy. Don’t slip into another unhealthy coping mechanism. Maybe you need to take a walk and few deep breaths before you deal with whatever has you angry. Maybe you need to sit and read, or pray, or find someone to help keep you accountable. Whatever your coping mechanism is, find a healthy approach. As you do, you may be surprised to find that the struggle itself even fades once you no longer have to fear an unhealthy coping mechanism.
- Keep at it. This isn’t rocket science, but it also isn’t easy. Perseverance is key. Don’t stop, don’t give up, and don’t make excuses. When you stumble, get back up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Don’t let that little voice that says “what’s the use… just give up” get in there. Don’t argue it, just ignore it. You’re on your way to change, and the temptation to give up is just that. A temptation. It has no actual power over you. 1 Corinthians 10:13 encourages us in this when it says, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may endure it.”
Bring your struggle to God. He already knows about it anyway, and he delights in helping you even when you don’t know what to do. James 1:5 talks about this when it says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
Changing behavior is hard work, but it’s worth the result of becoming a better person and treating those around you better. Change is not an overnight thing and none of us can flip a switch on all our flaws, but that doesn’t mean we are off the hook in fixing them, it just means we need to take the right approach.
Take heart!
Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
